Yes, No, Maybe List for Couples
How it works
Each partner fills in their own column with Y (yes), M (maybe) or N (no). Press "Show our overlap" to see only the items you both marked yes or maybe, so nobody feels put on the spot. The wording is non-explicit, and nothing is saved, sent or stored.
Fill in your own column honestly, ideally without looking at each other's. Y = yes, M = maybe (curious, with care), N = no.
| Activity | Partner A | Partner B |
|---|---|---|
| Slow massage | ||
| Candlelight and music | ||
| Undressing each other slowly | ||
| Talking about fantasies | ||
| Writing each other a wish list | ||
| Trying a new room or setting |
| Activity | Partner A | Partner B |
|---|---|---|
| Blindfolds or eye masks | ||
| Feathers, silk and soft textures | ||
| Warm and cool sensations | ||
| Ear plugs or headphones | ||
| Scented oils |
| Activity | Partner A | Partner B |
|---|---|---|
| Being held down by hand | ||
| Silk scarves or ties | ||
| Padded wrist cuffs | ||
| Ankle cuffs | ||
| Soft rope | ||
| Restraints on a bed | ||
| Being restrained | ||
| Restraining my partner |
| Activity | Partner A | Partner B |
|---|---|---|
| Taking the lead | ||
| Being led | ||
| Swapping roles | ||
| Role play or dressing up | ||
| Teasing and waiting | ||
| Light, playful spanking | ||
| A flogger used gently | ||
| Giving or receiving instructions |
| Activity | Partner A | Partner B |
|---|---|---|
| Cuddling afterwards | ||
| Quiet time alone afterwards | ||
| A warm drink or snack | ||
| Talking it over the next day |
Private by design: nothing you enter is saved, sent or stored, not even in your browser. Closing the page clears it.
How to use your results
- Both yes: great places to start.
- Yes and maybe: talk about what would make the "maybe" comfortable. These become soft limits with conditions.
- Anything with a no: treat it as a hard limit. A no never needs explaining.
Our guide to hard and soft limits explains how to turn your list into clear agreements, and consent and safe words covers what to agree before you try anything new.
Revisit it
Interests change as trust grows. Fill in a fresh list every few months: some maybes become yeses, and some don't, and both are fine.
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Frequently asked questions
What is a yes, no, maybe list?
A checklist each partner fills in privately, marking activities yes, maybe or no, to find shared interests and clear limits.
Is this yes, no, maybe list private?
Yes. It runs entirely in your browser. Nothing is saved, sent or stored, and closing the page clears it.
What should we do with the maybes?
Talk about what would make them comfortable (slower, shorter, more check-ins). They become soft limits with agreed conditions.